It was the day before the bag ban

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It was the day before the bag ban
And all through the state
Many were still not ready
Some don’t feel so good

Single-use plastic
Would soon no longer be
Nor swept away by ocean waves
At the seaside

No nested microplastics
In the gills of the fish
More plastic handles
A Sea Turtle’s Wish

But the earthlings needed
To take their things home
So switch to reusables?
That’s using your dome!

Photo by Jeff Deminsky

Photo by Jeff Deminsky

But is this really the answer?
Some say not so fast
Single-use plastic
Paper bags replaced

Will it be like this?
Are we going to shudder to find?
These reusable bins
Will it one day be decried?

Studies have shown
Carbon footprints are bigger
From the manufacture of reusables
And my, won’t that trigger

The virtuous
whose mission remains
To save planet earth
Of these lesser brains of birds

But the pandemic has taught us
One thing to note
Single use was much cleaner
Only reusable bins

reusable shopping bags plastic bag ban (Erin Vogt, Townsquare Media NJ)

(Erin Vogt, Townsquare Media NJ)

On the germs! On bugs!
On pathogens, viruses!
To the spores! On mould!
On the filthy hepatitis!

Your reusable bags
A Petri dish with handles
But go on, celebrate
Light all the candles!

You think you saved the world
But you only killed Jersey
feel holier than you
Like your bag gives you scurvy

So here’s a little prayer
As we succumb to the new
Say goodbye to plastic bags
May the fourth be with you

The opinions expressed in the above post are those of New Jersey 101.5 talk show host Jeff Deminski only.

You can now listen to Deminski & Doyle — On demand! Listen to New Jersey’s favorite radio show every day of the week. Download the Deminski & Doyle show wherever you get podcasts, on our free app, or listen now:

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